I'm immune from fresh, hot slop thanks to my robust backlog

We live in Scam World, and it’s a constant annoyance we all have to deal with. Most of the incoming calls to my phone are not from family or friends, but instead the nefarious Scam Likely. My inbox is clogged with bullshit services, Google directs me towards ads before actual results, and AI dreams up products that don’t exist. I’m very tired of Scam World, but there is one area in which I feel fairly immune: gaming. This isn’t because there aren’t bad games, rough launches, or even outright deception by bad faith developers — it’s because I’ve accumulated a backlog so enormous, I can never fully complete it.

There are just too many games. Obviously, I want each and every one to succeed, regardless of whether it was created by a humble solo developer, or a corporation with hundreds of workers cooperating to complete a vast open world. When I’m trying to keep pace with recent releases, this is stressful. But when an executive suggests I need to “man up” and embrace AI in development, or uses ChatGPT to contemplate how to maximize their personal gain, I feel a wave of relief. Thank you for making that decision from me; I simply shan’t indulge in any game under your label.

I’m sorry, I don’t need to do anything for you — I bought Far Cry 3 for $5 in 2014 and I have yet to touch it. Unless Valve chooses to nuke my library, I can scavenge off my backlog for decades.