Deadpool joins Marvel Rivals, and he's so obnoxious I uninstalled
Deadpool joins Marvel Rivals, which is my cue to get outta there.
Marvel Rivals has been adding heroes at a breakneck pace since its launch at the end of 2024, filling out the roster with stars like the Fantastic Four, a whole lot of X-Men, Daredevil, Blade, and Angela. I’ve recently returned to Marvel Rivals to check out all these new characters, as well as looking into sideshows like the zombies game mode. Unfortunately, like Grandpa Simpson in a brothel, I’m putting my hat back on and getting out of there pronto, and it’s all because of the game’s new hero: Deadpool.
Each Marvel Rivals character is reinterpreted by NetEase. Some, like Scarlet Witch, draw much more heavily from their comics continuity. Others, like Daredevil, have their silhouette altered to keep their identity while ensuring that they’re visually distinct on the battlefield. Then there are characters like Iron Man, which hew closely to the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s take. Deadpool draws a lot off Ryan Reynolds’ portrayal of the character, but amped up a few more notches.
He is the absolute worst and I cannot abide his buffoonery.
For those blissfully unaware of Deadpool, he’s a wise-cracking, brutally scarred mercenary with the uncanny ability to read the caption boxes in his own comic. Over the years, this has developed into Deadpool being totally aware of the fourth wall. In Rivals, he’ll joke about how his film’s rating only allows him to drop one F-bomb, or how Luna Snow is a great teammate because everyone knows she never gets nerfed by NetEase! Ha ha ha. God, how I loathe him.
I cannot stress enough how many stupid, unfunny jokes Deadpool spouts during matches. If you get a pentakill, he goes “What’s next, six seven?!” He asks the Invisible Woman if he can blame his pants being invisible on her, and jokes about squeezing into her Malice outfit. He jokes about datamining the game’s code so he can leak the next heroes. Remember Morbius? It’s Morbin’ time!! I hate this word, but there’s no other way to put it: cringe. Every time I see Deadpool in a lobby, I cringe.
There’s one way to deal with an annoying character: ban them out. Surely, I can simply go into the competitive queue and use my ban to eliminate Deadpool from my game entirely, right? I can only dream. Deadpool’s unique gimmick is that there are three different versions of the character: a Strategist, a Vanguard, and a Duelist. If I ban Strategist Deadpool, that doesn’t stop someone from playing him in another role. Making matters worse, he’s the new character, which means everyone wants to try him out.
Tragically, I hate Deadpool so much that I’m putting Marvel Rivals back on the shelf. I don’t know if I can blame NetEase for this one. If the people want Deadpool, this certainly is a Deadpool-ass take on Deadpool. Perhaps I’m the fool for expecting any measure of restraint in the writing. Maybe my loss will be more than compensated by a horde of Deadpool fans downloading the game to listen to his great jokes about chimichangas. All I know is that some things, no matter how well designed or fun to play, are simply too obnoxious to bear.
