God of War: Sons of Sparta can't compel me enough to get through

I’m a pretty big God of War fan. I’ve played the original trilogy multiple times, God of War (2018) is one of my top 3 games of all time, and, while I was left a little disappointed by Ragnarok, it was only in comparison to the masterpiece that was its predecessor. Hell, because I’m a completionist, I’ve even completed both PSP games and Ascension just to say I’ve played them all. Well I didn’t play the flip phone game, but I feel OK about that one.

And, unfortunately, the newly shadow-dropped metroidvania God of War: Sons of Sparta is looking to be the first God of War game I don’t complete. Sons of Sparta is technically right up my alley. I love Metroidvania games. I love mythology stuff. I love God of War. It ticks all the Ryan boxes. But the game manages to hit about every branch possible on the way down to make it unpalatable for me.

The idea behind God of War: Sons of Sparta is pretty simple. Young Kratos – as in Kratos just before the first game and the whole “killed my family in a blind rage brought on by Ares and had their ashes seared into my skin” thing – is talking to his daughter, Calliope about his childhood as a Spartan. 

The game then takes place entirely in this flashback where Teen Kratos – different from Young Kratos or our current Kratos, Old Kratos – is adventuring through Sparta with his younger brother, Deimos. Occasionally, Young Kratos and Calliope’s voices can be heard over a scene while playing to remind you the frame-narrative exists, but it’s mostly about the brothers.

“Wait, Kratos has a brother?” I can hear you asking. He sure does. While some love it, I’m of the opinion that you can absolutely be forgiven for not remembering God of War: Ghost of Sparta, the PSP game where Kratos’ long-lost brother returns and serves as the game’s deuteragonist (today’s Word of the Day has been brought to you by the God of War Wiki). All you need to know is the two brothers battle with Thanatos and it doesn’t go super great for Deimos – another strike against the gods of Olympus.

But this is kind of the first problem I have with God of War: Sons of Sparta. It exists to shine a spotlight on the least interesting time in this very interesting character’s life. Things get pretty wet and wild for Kratos when he essentially gives up his life in service to Ares and then Greek stuff happens. But before that, he’s just a Spartan guy that has godly ancestries that he doesn’t know about because he has to learn about them over the course of the mainline games.

I like Kratos, obviously, but he’s not even a good or well-written character in his first three games. In fact, part of what makes 2018 so impressive is that they managed to take someone who was essentially just “Edgy Ball Of Rage Early 2000s Protagonist” and make him this deeply compelling, trauma-filled character. That’s not to say they can’t try to humanize him a bit in a flashback game like this – and they do try to show that he was at least a mildly engaged father to Calliope – but it just can never get too interesting.