Space Warlord Baby Trader is the best way to lose your life savings

You ever think about how gambling has been normalized and implemented into every facet of our culture? While watching The Boys, I found myself stunned and slightly appalled that every single ad break was for some kind of sports gambling. But even if you’re not into watching the Big Game, you can also bet on government functions, TV finales, awards show winners, and in a bet that feels like double gambling, the fates of various cryptocurrencies. It can be a lot! But luckily, there’s a new game that gets right to the heart of this weird phenomenon: Space Warlord Baby Trader. 

That’s right — instead of betting on Elon Musk’s tweets or war in Iran, why not raise a baby and bet on every aspect of their life? This is a sequel to the similarly unhinged Space Warlord Organ Trader (2021) from the uninimitable developer Strange Scaffold. 

I begin by picking a cute baby with a turnip-like head, and then learn that good things happening to that baby will raise its stock price. Bad things, in turn, lower the baby’s stock price, and in the common wisdom of the markets: I must buy low and sell high.