I've finally found a battle royale for the humble writer

I’ve dabbled with most of the big popular battles royale: Apex Legends, PUBG, Fortnite ... That doesn’t mean I’m comfortable or good at these games; for every clutch play, I suffered the ignoble fate of getting sniped, juked, ambushed, and sent back to the lobby. Oh, how I envied the pro players of the games, effortlessly able to claim crown after crown. But now I’m drunk on power, because I finally found a game in which I am an effortless champion: Final Sentence.

Final Sentence is one of the many demos on display for Steam Next Fest, and the concept is very simple: 27 people enter a room full of typewriters and armed guards. The first person to finish writing the script wins; everyone else is shot. Make a mistake, and you have to start your line over. Make three mistakes, and you have to play a round of Russian roulette. It’s oppressive, unrelenting, and exactly the kind of environment in which I shine.

I, the humble writer, have a big ergonomic keyboard on my desk. I type at 133wpm. While you partied, I studied the blade. While my competition sweat and panic at their keyboards, I’m leisurely cruising through the challenge. It’s fun to me, actually.

This isn’t to say I’m undefeated; Final Sentence likes to throw the player curveballs. Sometimes, you’re writing a florid script of prose. Other times, you’re repeating the same short sentence or writing a sentence out over and over again, adding one character each time until the full message is revealed. You might even be typing in code. If I have a long stretch of text to write, I’m unstoppable. If I have to stop and check my punctuation, I’ll usually lose. That’s all part of the fun.

I’ve eclipsed my success in the second most me-suited battle royale I’ve ever played, Tetris 99. You can expect me to be going to the Final Sentence esports circuit. While the demo is only available until Monday, the full game is expected to release before the end of 2025. When it goes live, you'll find me queueing up, ready to flex once more upon the slow and careless alike.