The Mario Galaxy movie's biggest flaw is making Bowser a shitty dad, actually
Bring back the Bowser from the safety videos! Where did he go?!
I have seen the Super Mario Brother Movie approximately 1,000 times.
Is it because it's a great movie, or is it because I have a toddler who was born the same year it came out? You decide.
Now, while I do respect the hustle of some outlets to rapidly pursue takedowns of these movies as anti-art trash garbage – I agree that just because something is a "kid's movie" doesn't mean we should accept brightly colored mush, we should have higher standards, etc. – I think the original movie is largely fine for what it is. My kid has had a Mario themed bedroom since before she got here, and she's familiar with the plumbers and their pals. For us, it does the job or making Mario easy to talk about long before she could play the games.
All of this to say: we decided the Super Mario Galaxy Movie was an obvious choice for my kid's first opening weekend movie. (We've taken her to the theater before, and she shushes other kids who talk – a very proud moment for me – but we try to wait at least a few weekends as to not disturb people who are trying to enjoy it).
I saw it with her. Much like the first one, I was not offended by its lack of storytelling ambition or the quality of its plot. It was cute enough, I think the references were fun, and I liked when my kid looked and me and whispered "Rosalina" because she recognized her from her story book.
But Galaxy did irk me in one major department: they made Bowser a shitty dad.
I live in a very pro-Bowser home. We love him. Does he have problems, like constantly trying to abduct a woman against her will? Yeah, and we don't condone that behavior (and you may quote me on that). But we choose to believe in the great "the Mario characters are all in a Shakespearean-style theater troupe together" theory that makes them playing go-karts together and hosting smackdown tournaments on the weekends make sense.
But part of the reason we really love Bowser is ... I mean look at him. He's handsome (for a turtle), he's charming (by any standard), and in games where they actually let him be a character (like the Mario RPGs), he's hilarious. But really, it's because Bowser is a great dad under all of that "evil."
If you're unfamiliar with the great lore, Nintendo has put out multiple Switch security videos for parents, which feature Bowser looking over his boy, Bowser Jr., as he navigates his Switch and Switch 2.
The first (linked above) came out over nine years ago, in 2017. It depicts a Bowser that's trying to be cool and hands off, allowing his son to enjoy his video game time while also dealing with all of the fun parenting challenges that accompany that, like: making sure your kid is safe (without seeming overbearing, which Bowser – as a guy known for being "a lot" [I can relate] – is understandably concerned about) and managing their screen time so they get off the game when you need them to do things.
Very charmingly, Nintendo at one point explains that you can suspend your child's game from your phone if they're not listening, but it's suggested you don't do that because it can cause a lot of distress. We get this excellent vision of Bowser absolutely shattering his son by doing this, and so King Koopa decides to just have a chat with his him instead. It even shows how the app allows you to see what your kids spend their time on, which allows you to sit and have a conversation with them about their interests at the dinner table (which we then see Bowser and Jr. doing).
Nintendo has put together a lot of wholesome father/son content around gaming safety with these two, and it's genuinely some of the best stuff the company has put out in a decade. They even remade the video for the Switch 2 release, and put out a sequel for the new GameChat features (seen above).
The point is: Bowser is a highly engaged father who is trying his best to ensure his son is able to have a great time gaming alone, with friends, and with his dad. But he's also invested in his boy's safety and life balance, even if he tries hard to give him age-appropriate space and independence. It's the classic parenting struggle, and my man wears it well.
[very mild Mario Galaxy movie spoilers incoming]
The problem with the Galaxy movie is that Bowser is depicted as a loving and fun dad in some scenes (notably the puppet show recap he puts on, which gives off a similar vibe to the above videos). But all of that stuff comes after the reveal that Bowser simply wasn't around during his son's childhood.
When Bowser first hears that Bowser Jr. is looking for him, he's surprised because he hasn't seen him "for a few years."
Brother, WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR SON FOR YEARS? HE'S LIKE 10 AT BEST! THERE AREN'T THAT MANY YEARS TO HAVE MISSED!
OK, well maybe it wasn't his choice? Right? Maybe Bowser Jr. was forcibly taken from him? Nope! Bowser is a workaholic who shipped Bowser Jr. off to boarding school. He even mentions that Bowser Jr. really "grew up when I wasn't paying attention." Are you shitting me, my man?
This sucks as a Bowser fan who has genuinely really appreciated Nintendo's attempt to soften Mario's forever-villain by making him this goofy, lovable dad in these safety videos. It annoyed me far more than Mario referring to Luigi's 10th birthday as "his birthday" rather than "our birthday" (they're twins, but the movie doesn't seem to know that). Or the genuinely pretty stupid lore Princess Peach bomb at the end. Ruining Good Dad Bowser is 1,000% worse than all of the weird Mario "canon" mistakes they could make put together.
Now you could say "Ryan, can't you just justify this the same way you do the Peach thing? That the safety video is Bowser the man/dragon/turtle and the movie is Bowser the thespian? Just like the games" and shut up.
Sure, you could justify it that way, and that's fine. But I'd argue that one of the biggest reasons you'd want to introduce Bowser Jr. is specifically to humanize your villain a little more, and to give him some good qualities. Even in Bowser's Fury, the open-world mini-spin-off that has functionally zero story, we get a Bowser Jr who is so worried about his dad that he's enlisted Mario's help to figure out why he's become a kaiju.
It's possible to do this kind of basic work in less than a paragraph of text and a two minute safety video, I'm confident they can communicate the idea over 100 minutes!
The Mario Galaxy Movie gains nothing by making Bowser a deadbeat dad. It doesn't make his arc or his motivation better, it just serves to explain why he didn't think to mention him in the first movie. As a Bowser fan – and a fan of Jack Black's ownership of the character – it just felt like a thoughtless, spartan way to do some plotting, rather than a real moment to give a character some very easy depth.
I realize that this entire piece is about 1000 words longer than it needs to be considering it's just a 32 year-old man complaining about the characterization of a cartoon turtle in a movie for children that isn't even very good. But man ... it's so rare to get good characterization for Mario characters, especially a guy like Bowser, who never gets his own games to shine in. Nintendo managed to do it a decade ago in a two minute safety video. So to see them fumble what has become my favorite part of his lore over 100 minutes in the new movie? It just feels like such a missed opportunity to endear this otherwise villainous character to 50% of the movie's collateral audience: the parents.
