I finally gave Caves of Qud a chance, and got lost in the sauce

Caves of Qud is, as a new player, nearly completely impenetrable. The game’s final version launched in 2024, capping off a decade of work in early access. It has garnered a reputation as one of the most esoteric, bizarre, and flexible games around — and as such, I’ve always been interested in it. It’s also opaque as hell, which led to me putting the game off until I finally had an excuse to sit down and spend dozens of hours learning how this strange new world operates.

If you’re not familiar with Caves of Qud, it’s a massive RPG that pays homage to all the old school classics of the genre. It is a roguelike that is, perhaps, most like Rogue, Ancient Domains of Mystery, Dwarf Fortress’ Adventure Mode, and Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. The game takes place in a procedurally generated world, with a top-down perspective, and simple sprites. While most characters and monsters look simple, I quickly learn to Look to learn more: Are they hostile? Can I take them? Might they have something to trade with me?

I sit down to make a character and decide that, in a strange new world, defense is the best option. I create a Warden named Kevin, a simple mental mutant with a big shield and the power to beguile creatures with my mind. A long history of gaming has taught me that you can rarely go wrong with a big shield, and I quickly feel vindicated in this decision as I am set upon by alligators, snapjaw scavengers, and greasy bugs.

Kevin starts out in the village of Joppa, where I chat with the villagers, look admiringly upon a statue of a sultan, and pick up a couple of minor quests. Armed with a little bit of knowledge and the knowledge that I have a safe harbor, I set out into the world. It does not go well. I chose the roleplay setting, which means that I respawn after death; the game’s default setting is permadeath, which felt a little too punishing for my journey. I feel like that was a good instinct, because Kevin quickly died in rapid succession to a series of increasingly unfortunate events, which included but were not limited to:

1. Torn apart by hungry beasts in the middle of a legendary crocodile’s lair
2. Ripped to shreds by a pack of scavenging snapjaws while lost in the wilderness
3. Gunned down by a rifle turret while exploring ancient ruins
4. Mauled by a honey skunk I attacked in a fit of hubris
5. Dismembered by a ferocious fanged fish